Irony Killed The Bunny
by Mempyisms
Summary: Crystal Tokyo has long-since come to pass, and after thousands of years of peace, Neo Queen Serenity realizes the Senshi are corrupted. She purifies them, at the expense of her life, and is then transported to another dimension, reverting back to a child.
1. Prologue

Title: Irony Killed The Bunny  
  
By: HikariTsuki  
  
Warnings: (In Later Chapters...) Mild Language, Dark Themes, Sexual Situations  
  
Author's Notes: Okay, okay...I know some people might be wond'rin where I've been, and why I havn't yet updated my other fic 'Read Between The Lines.' Anno...first off, I went on a family vacation/reunion thingie in Tennessee for a week, and, on the less-nice hand, I have the flu. -.-  
  
Er...well, I think it's subsiding, but for the last three days, a fair amount of my time has occupied the...ugh...bathroom, where I've been hunched over the toilet, just for precaution's sake. -.- And then, I tried to type recently, and my hands seemed to shake, so I stopped; I'm only typing now, because the majority of this chapter was alread typed up, and I want to let you guys know I'm not dead or...something. .  
  
^^^^  
  
I recently experienced a...profound consciousness. A rather different outlook on the world and its prevalent cruelty. Some people debate my sanity. Iie, most people confute my rational thought, whether I am...wholly there or otherwise.  
  
That is the way it has been since years ago, and that is the way it shall remain, until they conclude best for me to be stripped of my power and rank, and committed. What a laugh, ne?  
  
I veiw no reason to live. I observe, from my ever-quiet position at the top of the tower, that this city -- this 'abomination' which I have created is nothing more and nothing less than a hoax, a decieving, artificial existence.  
  
Because I am responsible for such a place merely drives them further to believe of my lunacy and derangement. They percieve Crystle Tokyo as a perfection, a thriving environment of utter harmony and peace.  
  
Rubbish. Every stitch of their nonsense. Do they know anything? They know nothing. They can't tie their damn shoes without the assistance of magic, nor without, at minimal, a servant.  
  
Of course, we don't have shoe-laces, we have perfection. Each labor was terminated.  
  
They'd no sooner give up their henshin wands than die. Why? For a single reason: power. The power to transform has corrupted the purity they each once possessed. The friends I thought would forever stand beside me? My Senshi? The last person innocent enough to attempt to understand myself is my daughter, Chibi-usa.  
  
And she, undoubtedly, will soon relinquish her faith in me and join them, unwitting of their tainted hearts. I can't endure the idea of losing her; I fully discern my death will result of that deprivation and proceed to embrace it.  
  
Should my demise come at the highest price, fine, however I will not allow this scenario to end as Fate desires.  
  
The ginzuishou glimmers apprehensively in the smooth palm of my hand, slowly but surely warming and burning with a beautiful clarity.  
  
'This must be done...'  
  
Memories flicker through my mind's eye.  
  
"Holy Ginzuishou, remove the darkness that has stolen my friends, heal this world so every soul will be reborn and live peacefully..."  
  
Acknowledging and granting my plight, a burst of raw light ensues, engulfing and swallowing the Earth, the solar system, and furthermore, the entirety of the cosmos.  
  
'Sayonora, minna-chan...'  
  
And then there was emptiness...  
  
^^^^  
  
In Another Time, Another Dimension...  
  
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I focused blearily on twin, smug pools of grayish ice. The lapping drizzle tickled my face and arms and legs, causing me to blink my eyes to rid them of the water. Disoriented and frail, I nearly recoiled into darkness again, hearing vague voices discuss my presence.  
  
"...Papa, shall we keep her?"  
  
More murmers.  
  
I slowly, and with a dawning horror and shock, acquired the dim awareness of something amiss. I am smaller, my hands considerably chubbier, and my hair MUCH more than a little shy of its previous length.  
  
I delicately parted my lashes a final time to discern a tall form in a trenchcoat. Obviously, the eyes I had seen were the ones of the boy kneeling before me, and the man standing just afar, whom the boy was questioning, was the father.  
  
The image becoming sharper, I jadedly realized the man's eyes, similiar in pigment and haughtiness to the boy's, were scrutinizing me, summing me up and judging me in a no-nonsense manner.  
  
A moment's passing found me unconscious, the exhaustion prostrating me (literally) to the point where I did not move, and also did not feel the arms lift me up.  
  
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Author's Notes: Blah, blah, blah! I know this teaser/prologue/first chapter was short, pointless, and utterly uninteresting, but I'm tired, and I honestly do not care. I'm going to take a nap. **sighs** I don't expect reviews. **shakes head** But I'm going to tell you who picked Usagi up. **nods** Malfoy (the mysterious boy with the grey eyes) and Lucious Malfoy (the scrutinizing man in the trenchcoat). So there. ^^;; Anno, yes, this'll be, undoubtedly, a Malfoy/Usago romance ficlet. Also, this'll be, undoubtedly, A Harry/Usagi romance ficlet. And lastly, this'll be, undoubtedly, a Ron/Usagi ficlet. So there. ^^;; 


	2. Chapter One

Title: Irony Killed The Bunny  
  
By: HikariTsuki  
  
Warnings: (In Later Chapters...) Mild Language, Dark Themes, Sexual Situations  
  
Disclaimer (Which I so CARELESSLY forgot last chapter...): I own not, sue not.  
  
Author's Notes: Gah! **gushes madly** I cannot even begin to believe the reviews I got! ^^ **glomps unsuspecting viewers** I love you guys SO much! **teary eyes** Honest, I didn't think I'd get any responces!  
  
Silver Moon Goddess ~ Boy, you really want a Draco/Usa romance, ne? **grins** Well, I promise you'll get one. ^^  
  
elena ~ I updated as soon as I could. ^^  
  
silver_punk ~ As I mentioned to elena, I wrote and posted this chapter as soon as possible. ^^  
  
sailorruss ~ Really? You thought it was interesting? ^^ I didn't think it was, honestly, but I guess I was wrong. Hope this chapter is just as interesting to you as the previous. ^_~  
  
Avi ~ Thanks. I'm glad you like the Malfoy/Usagi pairing. ^^  
  
death ~ Did I get this out fast enough for you? ^^ Hope so.  
  
slrkitten ~ Hey! You know, I was actually thinking about doing something like that! ^^ I guess since you mentioned it I'll have to look further into the matter, ne? **grins**  
  
Rose Yami Hikari ~ Er...she wasn't reborn. ^^ At least, I don't believe she was. ^^ She was only brought back to life and sent to the HP dimension as a four-year old. I hope I cleared that up for you. **grins**  
  
Anno...**cough, cough**...my flu is almost gone! **dances** I think your nice reviews brought me outta my slump! ^^ Arigato! And I wrote this chappie as quick as my poor hands would allow! So enjoy! ^^  
  
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I blithely and contently watch the silver-haired boy climb a nearby oak tree. Jesting teasingly to me that I 'cannot succeed in following him for the fact of my female gender' he proceeds, promptly, to stick his tongue out and make the gesture of crossing his arms.  
  
In a mirrored image of Draco's playfullness, I express an indignant 'huff' and attempt to get to his high branch. The bark is rough under my bare hands and knees and I eventually manage, though not without gaining the burden of a few scratches.  
  
"Foolish git," he always scolds amusedly, and magically heals me via the magic of his wand. I laugh, remarking that he's the git and I merely humor him. Swinging my legs whilst humming to the tune of a far-off memory, I hear Draco query, "Why do you constantly insist on singing that?" His bottome lip curles in distaste and perplexity.  
  
My eyes, I know, glisten wistfully. Deciding quickly that Draco doesn't need to know my past, and mentally squandering the morbid thoughts such recollections bring, I shrug dismissively, "I dunno."  
  
He acknowledges me strangely, before his beautiful gray eyes shift indifferently.  
  
I silently study his profile, then, during the time in which he is unaware. Draco Malfoy is frighteningly wise beyond his few years. Yes, indeed, I am also, but...but I'm really thousands upon thousands of years old, placed, ironically enough, in the body of a five-year old. And this boy is only seven, yet he knows much. He often suspects me, his suspiscious eyes almost as distrustful as his Father's. Draco knows I'm not akin to average children, and many a time have I caught him staring at me, and vice versa.  
  
I can remenisce faintly about the time I first came here, actually...  
  
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Flashback...  
  
^^^^  
  
I focused blearily on twin, smug pools of grayish ice. The lapping drizzle tickled my face and arms and legs, causing me to blink my eyes to rid them of the water. Disoriented and frail, I nearly recoiled into darkness again, hearing vague voices discuss my presence.  
  
"...Papa, shall we keep her?"  
  
More murmers.  
  
I slowly, and with a dawning horror and shock, acquired the dim awareness of something amiss. I am smaller, my hands considerably chubbier, and my hair MUCH more than a little shy of its previous length.  
  
I delicately parted my lashes a final time to discern a tall form in a trenchcoat. Obviously, the eyes I had seen were the ones of the boy kneeling before me, and the man standing just afar, whom the boy was questioning, was the father.  
  
The image becoming sharper, I jadedly realized the man's eyes, similiar in pigment and haughtiness to the boy's, were scrutinizing me, summing me up and judging me in a no-nonsense manner.  
  
A moment's passing found me unconscious, the exhaustion prostrating me (literally) to the point where I did not move, and also did not feel the arms lift me up.  
  
~  
  
I was aroused from slumber by a warm washcloth at my brow. Clear-blue eyes gazed into black voids. A distainful scowl marred the man's face. "Where's your mother, girl?" he immediately drilled me for answers. Dazedly scoping my surroundings, my chin trembled, despite my hard attempts at retaining my composure.  
  
'It worked...they are healed.' A probing bafflement gripped my mind, however. 'Why am I still alive? I'd thought for sure that wish would drain me to death...'  
  
"You listening, twit? Where's your blasted mother? She shouldn't be leaving annoying children wandering around my property!" The man fumed. He looked scary and dangerous, yet I couldn't conjure the fear to cower; I felt empty. An empty shell...was probably exactly what I was, too. A woeful whisp of an apology befell my lips, and I dejectedly hung my head. Then, fixating my sight to his anew, I dared not flinch, nor did I allow him to suppose I was intimidated, something he likely predicted.  
  
The man must have speculated my silent challenge as a funny attempt at endurance, and chuckled. His pure sound escalated to howling laughter a secong after, rumbling deeply within his chest. I was taken aback. He did not strike me as the type to present many joyous emotions -- this laugh was not mocking, and it wasn't mean or cruel. It was just...laughing.  
  
An alien twinkle hinted his eyes, before it dispersed utterly, accompanied by his earlier mirth. Gruffly, he admitted, glancing away, "You... remind me of my son."  
  
'Son?' I pondered this briefly, and concluded he was referring to the boy who had stumbled upon me.  
  
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End Of Flashback...  
  
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From that point forward, I had practically become a perminent guest at the Malfoy Household. Correction: the Malfoy Estate. I had explained that I had no family, and asserted the white-lie of possessing scarce memories, or, dare I say it, amnesia.  
  
Which wasn't completely deceitful, considering my circumstances. The Ginzuishou had evidently sent me to this world to start another life, and that meant moving on from the former one, ne? So far, I have been here a year, and Lucious Malfoy, I believe, considers me more like a daughter than anything else.  
  
The vigorously waving hand in my face impels my attention. Calmly and, as if I had been ignoring him instead of spacing out, I inquire, "Yes?"  
  
His face contorts obnoxiously. I nearly smile. Nearly. He so much resembles his father in countless ways, and at the same instance, is totally the opposite. While Lucious Malfoy remains cold, detached, and perpetually teatering on the thin line between good and evil, Draco...well, I have no worries pertaining to his innocence. His heart is abounding with love and compassion, even if Draco, himself, is not perceptive of this truth.  
  
"Papa is calling." he clarifies, smirking devilishly. I peek below to confirm my swelling annoyance. An impatient maid awaits, tapping her foot, bordering the base of the tree we occupy.  
  
"Children," she growls. "I demand you come down! Chop, chop! Master Malfoy requests your presence!"  
  
The boy, the same smirk gracing his lips, proposes mischievously, "Race you."  
  
And offering me no period to react, he jumps from the branch, landing expertly on the lush pasture grass. As a rocket would toward the sky, he dashes in the direction of the castle-like mansion looming the horizon.  
  
"Eek!" I, too, land on the ground, lacking his swiftness for the disadvantage of 'falling' from the tree, the balance having escaped me when the branch vibrated as his weight removed itself.  
  
Ignoring the maid's shriek of shock, I hastily dust myself off, starting after Draco, who, at present, is quite the distance leading.  
  
"Hey! Wait!" I protest. He is incomparably faster than I, however, and arrives at the house greatly prior to myself. Panting and leaning exasperatedly against one of the elegant archways just inside the grand entrance hall, I glare at his infuriatingly self-complacent and egotistical form. "You cheater!" I accuse.  
  
His smirk widens to an awe-inspiring grin, and he doubles over in laughter. Apparently, this action of release is both contagious and infectious, because the peels of giggles, indeed, spill recklessly past my own lips, spreading throughout the sparkling, sun-lit hallway.  
  
This further steals my breath, and I grasp my stomach in pain, still laughing. The happy sound subsiding, I gasp, "I'll beat you next time!"  
  
He smirks, a familiar, proud glint spicing those molten eyes. "Go ahead and try." One snort and and an "Oh yeah?" later found us racing up the spiral steps.  
  
As is expected, he's first to the twin, ebony-wood doors that mark his Father's study chamber. "I win." A casual declaration.  
  
"You win because you cheat." I hiss, pursing my lips.  
  
The boy readily opens the doors, then, leaving me no chance to issue another quip.  
  
I evenly follow Draco in tow. He delivers a respectful nod to his father, and Lucious Malfoy pauses his tedious paperwork to motion for us to be seated. Folding his hands, the man averts his reaming gaze to Draco and I.  
  
"You called, Father?"  
  
"Yes," His stony eyes portray no comforting emotions. "I called you to speak important business." A flick of his wand, retrieved magically from the folds of his cloak, sets aflame the fireplace, casting shadows upon each object scattering the room.  
  
He continues on, "Draco, you know you are to attend Hogwarts in a few short years."  
  
'Hogwarts?' I stifle the perplexity overshadowing my will to listen to the man.  
  
"...I am informing, not only you, but Usagi as well, that she will join you when she comes of age." Lucious' eyes flash to me. The bubbling question nurturing my eyes causes Draco's father to smirk. "Ah...I see I have so carelessly forgotten to explain."  
  
I nod mutely.  
  
He grins broadly, and Draco bursts, "But Father! We don't even know if she has any wizarding history! She could be a mudblood!"  
  
A curt, warningly sharp reply traces Lucious' lips. "Have you forgotten, Draco? She had the skill to use your wand not too long ago. I view that as evidence of her capabilities. Besides," his face models a stern sneer. "are you suggesting that a mudblood could weild the wand of a Malfoy!"  
  
Draco reluctantly clamps his thin lips shut, eyes narrowed, and keeps quiet after murmering a forced, "No."  
  
I allow the man to bestow the details to my rapidly turning mind. "Hogwarts, my dear, is a legendary school of witchcraft and wizardry. In other words, a school of magic." He reveals his wand. "At the start of term, once you are the age of eleven, I will take you to get your wand, various other necessities and supplies, and you will depart on the Hogwarts Express to be instructed and disciplined in the arts of many, many magical subjects." The wand is slid back into the concealment of his garments. "Understand?"  
  
Satisfied, Lucious discharges us with a simple, "That will be all."  
  
I reservedly analyze this newly-procured information as I walk beside the silvery-haired boy. 'School of magic?' I broad. 'I knew they had magic, and even wands, but that children are, in fact, sent to learn to use such powers? I had no idea...'  
  
This, as substantially as it troubles me, fascinates me, carrying me to wheeze in amazement and impalpable, startling wonder.  
  
^^^^  
  
Author's Notes: Hope you liked this. I know this chapter was even more uninteresting than the last one...**flinches**...but I'll try my best to make the next chapter more eventful, alright? Also, there will be romance in upcoming chapters! Promise! Maybe not the next chapter, but I'm sure the one after that will probably have some...  
  
Er...criticism is always welcome! Remember, I can't advance as an author if I don't have feedback, especially when I'm only thirteen! 


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